The Mummy: Review

Director: Alex Kurtzman
Starring: Tom Cruise, Annabelle Wallis, Jake Johnson, Russell Crowe, Sofia Boutella

The decision to reinvent an –admittedly not highly celebrated – but nonetheless popular movie franchise is oftentimes understandably unwelcome. We anticipated a worthy reason when it was decided to reboot the Brendan Fraser starring movies, themselves a loose remake of the 1932 horror film of the same name, we could only hope it would bring an innovative new spin on the film’s subject, or perhaps an exploration into a previously untouched subplot, or hell, just a better godamn version. Alas, Alex Kurtzman’s The Mummy is none of these things. Alex Kurtzman’s The Mummy is lousy.

The plot follows audacious soldier Nick Morton (Cruise) who seeks out ancient relics and sells them for a cash reward. Joined by partner Chris Vail (Johnson) they stumble upon the tomb of an Egyptian princess (Boutella). Archaeologist Jennifer Halsey (Wallis), embittered following a sour romantic encounter with Nick, arrives to investigate the sight. They exhume the princess’s corpse, but complications ensue when the body appears to possess some form of curse.

The Mummy is the damp squib of a first instalment of the upcoming Dark Universe movie series, promising the likes of Frankenstein, Dracula, and The Creature from the Black Lagoon, to name a few. Cinematic universes are all the rage, but this is an embarrassing starter for the incipient series.  There are countless downfalls of this film, but the confused story is the main offender. The writers could really have benefitted from a lesson in ‘less is more’. A simpler but more defined plot line would have made for a much more engaging picture. Faffing around with Russell Crowe’s troubled scientist Dr Jekyll wastes time attempting and failing to develop another (usually complex) character.

The existence of Johnson’s character also becomes rather baffling; he is killed after being overcome with an evil spirit when bitten by a spider in the princess tomb. However, he continues to haunt Nick after his death, although his ghostly presence is jarring and verging on comical. At the end of the film Morton acquires the ability to resurrect the dead, and chooses to apply this to Johnson, leading to the feat of screenwriting ‘Thanks for brining me back from the dead, Dude.’.

Tom Cruise is awfully predictable but undeniably decent, running from one place to another, which we all know he does ever so well. Of course there are fight sequences aplenty but they are uninventive and poorly paced, often being the dullest parts of the film. Annabelle Wallis gives a meagre performance, with clumsy line delivery. Then again, it is tough to put the blame on her when reflecting on the dreadful dialogue; in a scene involving Cruise courageously facing up to the eponymous Mummy in a fight, pathetically wielding a branch, Wallis shouts ‘Go on, Nick! Kick her arse!’. Cue the cringe from the evermore, and justifiably so, Cynical Cinephiles.

The relationship between Nick and Jenny is weak and bizarre. Having shared a night together, prior to the film’s beginning, they already have beef as Jenny is angered by him stealing her map. However, their relationship surely blossoms into something peculiarly deep considering the narrative spans only the duration of a few days, and while Nick has a dash of whimsy and sass, Jenny’s personality is non-existent other than a bit of feistiness, that is so frequently given to female characters as a substitute for real depth. A laughably shallow moment occurs when Nick gets a cheeky peak at Jenny’s washboard stomach and is clearly impressed. Well, she’s totally barren of charisma but at least she’s got a nice physique!

Latter chapters in the Dark Universe will not have to try hard to improve in any way on this benchmark, but will have to do a great deal to promise audiences that it is worth giving a second chance. The Mummy is a remarkably underwhelming film that makes you wonder how such a shoddy script got into production.

MS